Single hood as a prerequisite for purity.
Am a firm believer that it’s possible for a young person to remain pure. This is amidst the hurricanes of immorality in our times today. I particularly believe that it’s possible to wait till marriage. Not just wait to have sex when married but also be single till when you are ready for marriage. Such is quite a high standard, I admit. Today a friend of mine called Crispus posted on face-book that it’s not God’s desire that we have ex boyfriends/girlfriends. I smiled and nodded in agreement!
I’ve personally been single all my life. Am guilty of wanting to take pride in that many times. But in the past few days I’ve been reviewing my life and what I believe in. I found myself guilty in this: I’ve claimed to be single yet I’ve only been single physically. Many times I’ve not been single emotionally and mentally. There has been this dude X who’s captivated my heart and has occupied the better part of my mind. And I’ve allowed these thoughts to be part of me! Other times I’ve gotten into an entanglement and I’ve enjoyed love outside commitment.
As I took this close check at my life I concluded this: Purity is not something you achieve one time. It’s something you continue to work out like you work out your salvation. You have to beat your body and continue reminding yourself that which you’ve committed yourself to. Most importantly you have to develop convictions. You know those strong crazy beliefs that look like they are out of this world? Yes, you’ve got to have them. I love what my mentor says, that you set your standards so high so that even if you fall you want fall down, but somewhere reasonably ‘safe’. But if they are just so low then when you fall it will be terrible. However, falling should not be in our mind.
Young people will spend most of their time talking matters love or fancying being in a relationship. My conclusion is this: these talks hype our emotions. They make us live the future and not the present. Worst of all they waste our time. They are therefore dangerous talks. God did not give you energy to wake up in the morning so that you spend it in anxieties of the future. Instead He wants us to live one moment at time. He wants us to fully trust Him. You know that crazy faith of someone who’s blindfolded and is required to be held by another and follow them? That way! So that you’ll not be bothered by who God will bring your way or when they’ll appear. Your mind will not be preoccupied with thoughts of this secret admirer who’s watching your every move and so you act pussy foot so that you impress them.
It’s recorded in Songs of songs 2:7; “Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you by the gazelles and by the does of the field; Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.” A Kikuyu musician says in his song that love is hot and can’t be put off once lit. So don’t light the fire if it’s not yet time. It’s these thoughts and emotions that will cause you the final downfall, gradually. So hold on. Ecclesiastes 3:11a says God has made everything beautiful at His own time. There is therefore no need to hurry. There is no need to be anxious about the future. Only walk faithfully with him.
So yeah, it’s possible to remain single till God leads you to the one man or woman who He planned for you before the earth was made! But also keep this in mind, marriage is not a guarantee for everyone. Don’t lead yourself into it then when you get to heaven God asks you, “Haiya! You were married?” He probably has ordained you as a eunuch and you are busy looking for a match! Don’t miss the voice of His will!
In her book Passion and Purity, Elisabeth Elliot writes, “I do know waiting on God requires the willingness to bear uncertainty, to carry within oneself the unanswered question, lifting the heart to God about it whenever it intrudes upon one’s thoughts. It’s easy to talk oneself into a decision that has no permanence- easier sometimes than to wait patiently.” Waiting is the best option.