Father playing with his child daughter on the beach. Spinning her holding hands. Vector flat style isolated cartoon illustration.

She sat on her bed as she explained it to her friend. At first it seemed easy. But as she continued sharing, the reality hit. She sensed some bitterness in her heart. The issue had affected her. She swallowed the bitter pill and continued talking.

“I love my dad. He’s good. He has faithfully paid my school fees and provided for everything I needed. I’ve seen him work hard to get me a good life. He has been responsible in providing for his family.

However, I miss him. I wish I would interact with him. I long for a one on one opportunity where I’d share my school life with him. How my academics are fairing and the struggles I have with some subjects. Life in school hits the rock at times, and I just wish I’d have someone who could shed some light on how to go about certain issues.

The scene in the movie ‘Courageous’ makes me envious. Nathan takes his daughter out for dinner and asks her to trust him as her dad, and he would walk her through life and even guide her when a man would come and ask for her hand in marriage. I hope my dad did that to me. I hope he was there to teach me God’s word. Maybe I wouldn’t have made so many mistakes. Or maybe life wouldn’t have been so hard.

I wish dad had some time to hold me when I was small, so that I would not go seeking affection elsewhere. You know those daddy-daughter moments like for Adam and his daughter in Courageous? Yes. I wish I had that.

I feel it’s too late. Even if dad changed there’s a way we still can’t catch up. Am now old. It would be awkward for us. But I want to feel the presence of a dad. I want to receive calls from him, and just be asked how am fairing. I fear am growing old and he’s not realizing it. I can’t rewind the years and have time with him.”

******

When I wrote the post I want daddy back, discussions about the same begun in my friendship circles. While the story above is made up, it’s somewhat a summary of the cases I heard from my friends. Am also a victim in one way or another.

As I thought about the issue with dads, my heart grieved. I mean, ideally in a functional family unit a man should be present, and walk their sons and daughters through all aspects of life.

It pains my heart more to see men of my age live recklessly, yet they are expected to be the future fathers. The booze you’ve just begun drinking will soon result to a daily drinking habit in the name of stress relief, and then you’ll end up losing your children at some point in life. Your immoral sexual trends will soon perfect you into a promiscuous man, and then you’ll end up sacrificing attention to your children at the expense of momentary pleasure. Your greed for the things that don’t matter and the addictions that have captivated you will rob away good time that would be quality to spend with the people that really matter.

Maybe you thinks it’s too early. Like you have several years to compose yourself and become the man that you should be, or to clear up the mess you’ve left behind you. Well, wake up brother! Time will catch up with you. The time is now. Shape up. If not for yourself then at least for people who will be called by your name. You just can’t have your daughter live in bitterness for the better part of her life. Or your son grow into an irresponsible man.

Dude, the day the reality of the hurting hearts caused by men’s irresponsibility will dawn on you, then you’ll learn to love and to care. You will sit at the feet of Jesus and intercede for the people who’ll come after you. You’ll care a little bit more. And you’ll do a longtime investment in prayer and have a consistent personal walk with God. You’ll not behave like any other guy who hits on ladies anyhow and plays with their hearts. You’ll become more aware of the task ahead and seek to be closer to God.

Most importantly, submit to the lordship of Christ. The journey to becoming the model of a man God intended begins here. Christ himself having gone before us and setting and example. In his unconditional love for the church, he continues to woe us despite our sinful state. He has genuine love and compassion for us, and nurtures his own with a lot of patience. He has the interest of his bride at heart. He is not selfish and ill-motive driven. He does not sacrifice his love for us to things that do not count. He is the perfect model of love!

I pray that God would help you become an ideal man. That you’d be a representation of Christ the head when God gives you a family. May he help you bring up your sons and daughters responsibly, like he patiently walks with those that are his. Amen.