Ideally, I shouldn’t be writing this post. Because this is not a gray area, it’s black and white. But now that the people of my generation have made it look like there is nothing wrong with co-habiting, then I’ll write about it, just to emphasize that it’s wrong.
When I was in my second year, there was a couple living within my vicinity. They looked like they were having their happily ever after moment. They were like twins. Inseperable. You almost admired them. They’d wake up at almost the same time, go to shower together then leave for class together. Now that last part communicates something- they were students.
During my first days I assumed they were just like the rest of the non-believers, and so they were ‘justified’ to be co-habiting. But then I listened to their music. They had very nice gospel music and would ocassionally blow the residence with their loud music, and apparently they would sing along. I know you’ll tell me anyone can enjoy gospel music. I know. However, I have an issue with that. Doesn’t that deep message convict them of their sins?
Now, my neighbours would wake up every Sunday and go to church together. Very heartily. That left me in thoughts. I’ve heard cases in my very own Christian circles, of people who are comfortably co-habiting, but they make appearances in every fellowship. Am not saying they should stop attending the fellowships. But then how do you manage to appear infront of brethren and continue feeling comfortable when you know too well you are living in sin?
You may ask me what sin is committed by people co-habiting. Well, I’ll care to explain. You see, you and I are in flesh and blood. Anyone who has flesh and blood is very prone to sin. You therefore can’t trust yourself to spend a night with someone of the opposite sex and still come out clean. Co-habiters spend more than a night together. I curiously peeped into my neighbours’ house and confirmed that there was only one bed. So I imagine they’d sleep on the same bed.
One of the problem in my generation is that there’s so much bending of rules. The set boundaries no longer exist. I have a problem with the casualness that goes around among people of the opposite sex nowadays. This is clearly depicted in the fact that some two people of the opposite sex would comfortably sleep together and not have a sense of guilt.
You cannot flirt with sin and expect that you’ll master it. For instance, you cannot trust yourself to spend in a man’s house and expect to come out strong. Chances are that you’ll give in. Because you are flirting with sin!
When Paul tells the church of Ephesus that there should be no hint of sexual immorality amongst them, he meant exactly that. In fact the NKJV Bible states that such should not be named amongst them. This means that our walk, interactions and thoughts should be pure. We should not only be holy, but also seem to be holy. Anything that could put us in compromising situations is a hint of sexual immorality. Anything that is a controversy then it should be seen as wanting.
When God warns us and prompts our hearts to turn away from sin, and we harden our hearts, then we grieve the Holy Spirit and he stops prompting us. In Romans 1, Paul describes how God hardens the heart of the unrighteous, those who know him but do not glorify him for who he is. “Therefore God also gave them up to uncleanness, in the lusts of their hearts, to dishonour their bodies among themselves…”
That perhaps explains the reason why people would be comfortable in church, serving in ministries but actively living in sin. We therefore need to be careful. Careful to honour God with our sexuality and all it’s expressions, but also to bring honour to His name. When we sin we defame the name of God.
So yeah, co-habiting is not right. It is putting yourself in a compromising situation. It is flirting around with sin. That man or woman is not your husband or wife. It is failing to practice integrity, an important virtue for every Christian. It is dishonouring God!