It’s exactly 20 days since handing over. My transition in leadership was met with a couple of mixed expressions. Initially, I had been so rigid to my new appointment. I dragged through the first months, but somehow God worked in me and changed my heart. I grew to love my position so much! It hurt to know that I was going to hand over. 🙁
But then I wasn’t going to be the Christian Union’s secretary forever. So I let go the hard way. You see, leadership brought out the best and the worst of me. I became aware of giftings I hadn’t known I had, and at the same time character issues that I didn’t know or I had ignored were exposed to the surface, in a way I just couldn’t ignore them!
I enjoyed every moment of being a secretary (though writing minutes wasn’t too much fun 🙂 ) I did my work wholeheartedly, you’d think the Christian Union was mine… Sooner than I thought time was up. I needed to hand over the mantle to someone else. So during that period my conversations with God went something like, “God, really? You couldn’t add the months? Or just do something so that this period prolongs?”
On the other hand, I learnt. I learnt how fallen I am, and serving God in such a capacity was only a privilege. I learnt to move at God’s pace. Yes. Sometimes my strides are too long, I almost walk ahead of God. In my interaction with the rest of the leaders, it dawned on me (so very heavily) that good ideas didn’t only originate from my mind, and even if they did, they don’t have to always carry the day.
For me leadership was a journey. Everyday I woke up to new challenges, responsibilities and with the same weight I found new grace to go through the moments. God’s grace was so evident, I don’t even know how I managed through some moments. It could only be grace!
During the Annual General Meeting, as I read through my report, I could only marvel at what God did through a worm such as I! In my fallenness, unfaithfulness and disobedience he still managed to work out something beautiful. He worked out beauty from ashes!
As if that wasn’t enough, he came calling me for a second term of service. In my little thinking I thought he was asking too much from me. I felt like it was an unnecessary disorientation. I thought he had been unfair in ‘snatching’ away the secretariat post and calling me to be the discipleship coordinator. I vented and whined (in my heart). But all along he was patient. Then finally I agreed to follow him.
I am enjoying the new dispensation of grace. Trust me it’s overwhelming. I almost had a burn out because of too much work, in the Christian Union as well as my academic work. But then am in a journey, again. And the Lord has already began teaching me. One thing that he’s telling me always is that the work in the Christian Union is not mine, but his. So I only need to depend on his guidance, act when he tells me to and just watch him do things through me!
Here lies the beauty of serving him. It’s his work. Therefore I don’t need to worry about anything, but only avail myself to be used of him.
I could go on and on writing about my experience, but that’s it for now. I want you to know that He is faithful in the big and in the small things. We only need to obediently follow him!