thoughts_taking_stockSo am through with my first semester of my 3rd year. The reality of life is hitting me hard. Soon am gonna be out of school. But then what kind of a person will I be? Will the system go through me or will I just go through the system?

As the cliche’ goes, God is preparing me to be someone. (Sambarry say Amen!) But then what’s my response to the lessons and opportunities I go through? This semester has been one of my best. My best because I got to see my reaction towards pressure when I was tested to the limits, but also because some good level of growing happened to me.

As I went to class everyday, I realized that I was doing it for myself. You see, there is a tendency of students thinking they are doing there parents or teachers a favor by attending to their academic responsibilities… That’s not what I thought in the previous years though (don’t judge me 😉 ), but there is just a way I understood clearly that I was building my life.

So I worked a little bit more hard. My diligence went a notch higher. I saw my academics as a way of glorifying God and serving him, when I do it diligently. The thought of what kind of a person I want to leave campus was always in mind.

I don’t want to work hard so that I get a good job. May be that’s second. I want to work hard because it’s my responsibility. I glorify my master by doing it. I want to go an extra mile and sacrifice. Not for my children first, but to honor God.

I hooked up with some two friends, Gakii and Nyambura, who were of immense value to me. I became more vulnerable as I walked in accountability with them. Sometimes the thought of missing an early morning class (accompanied by a lie to justify myself) would come in quick succession after the alarm at 5:30a.m, but the thought of these two asking me why I missed class, and having to explain a lie to them would send me off my bed. Not that I feared them, but because they’d scold me for not being diligent. Accountability!

For the first time in my campus life I lived alone. (Fridah left. *sob* ) I learnt to be responsible. There’s no one to keep an eye on me. Some days I didn’t wash utensils because I was living alone, anyway. (Not for too long though 🙂 ) Some other days I didn’t cook because it’s only my stomach I’d be offending, anyway! But this freedom came with responsibility. I learnt to manage my room, time and money.

There’s a tendency of bad eating habits among spinsters and bachelors. The disease caught up with me. Then my clothes began ‘refusing’ to fit me, not because of overgrowing but reduction of weight. At this point no one gave me a lecture of good eating habits! I discovered by myself….

So now I have 3 semesters to go. (A standing ovation? Or we can just reserve it till the three are down, right?) Am excited and worried. Excited because it’s exciting to finish school (who frowns because of finishing school?) but worried about several things. My GPA (don’t laugh at me. GPAs are a scary thing. Couldn’t we study without them?), the transitions ahead (like I mentioned in My experience in leadership,transitions are not my thing)and growing up. Growing up is scary! 🙁

But then I look forward to the future. I want to see the mystery unravel. I want to see me five years from now. When I take stock next, (it’s a rare thing though) I want to marvel at the growth. By grace!