Today I’ll be finishing my teaching practice. I have mixed feelings about it. A lot has happened in the three months. Things I didn’t expect or foresee. But things that have changed my life.
I now know that I can teach. Forget about the goosebumps I had at the beginning wondering how practical it is to train and handle students! I saw myself teach and become better at it every day. One of the comments I got during assessment was that I am a passionate teacher. 🙂 If an opportunity to teach comes up later after completion of school, I’ll gladly take it.
During the three months, I have experienced so much. I have known the depths of loneliness and emptiness. There are days I had so much going through my mind till my heart could ache. Literally. Others I felt there was no one close despite having so many friends. Others I doubted God’s love towards me. I had an unanswered question hang on my mind and torment me for days. I sank low. My heart went cold. It was a horrible moment.
I discovered God’s love and the love of friends during those times. I realised that though God was not visible to me during that weak moment, he still cared. How so? I got a book in the streets of Nairobi at Ksh.50 that addressed the very issues that troubled my heart. In a small yet significant way, that was God manifesting his love and commitment to healing my broken heart. Then I had some friends reach out to me in unexpected ways. Through these small gestures of love my heart was restored!
Then I had happy moments. Working with students was great. The bond we developed, the laughter in class and the small steps of growth I saw them make. It was such a fulfilling thing! These students gave me a reason of wanting to be in school every day. The form twos were awesome. We quarrelled a lot over unfinished work and dishonesty. But at the end of the day, we were friends. They told me how I’d scare them with the cane. They apologised for not completing the assignments. They reached out to me. They expressed a hunger and commitment for knowledge. They asked questions, stupid ones, and serious ones. I took every possible opportunity to pour out my heart to them. The English comprehensions that we read together in class were addressing social issues. I seized the moment to guide them on how to live. We talked about real issues. I shared my opinion on different issues with them. I told them what the Bible said about the issues. Then at the end of my teaching time, they stated that they would never forget me. What else could a teacher ask for?
My patience was tested in many ways. I had a roommate. We’d differ in many things, including faith. I had my way of doing things, and she has hers. But I’d confidently say that God used this to tone down my bossiness. I learnt not to take offence over matters. I am now better at confronting and handling issues. All along Grace was my theme. By grace Christ saved me. By grace, I live. This same grace ought to be expressed to others.
The Lord has been greatly faithful. He was with me at all times. I know this so well. He journeyed with me for the three months. He let his face shine upon me. He held my hand and prevented my feet from stumbling. He let me experience his fullness. The Lord is my shepherd. I shall not want!