Christian ladies are lovely. They are Godly, honest, disciplined, genuine and honorable. They will not flirt or laugh with every Tom, Dick and Harry, their boundaries are well defined and they strive to keep them. These girls carry themselves with a lot of dignity and they are respectable. Clearly, every man (including the unbeliever) would want such a girl for a wife.

The tragedy storms in when the unbeliever pursues a Christian girl. The guy showers you with gifts, attention and words that would make your heart melt. (How come they do this so well? lol) You actually enjoy the attention to a given extent. You swell with pride at the complement that you are a ‘wife material’. Isn’t it the nature of women to enjoy attention and being pampered?

This is of course a dangerous path to tread on. Your feet might be swept off by this clone of the real love. You might actually have a momentary lapse of reason and by the time you are back to your senses it’s too late. So pull your stools closer sisters, let’s have this talk.

I want to remind us of the reality on the ground, so that our vision is not blurred by momentary pleasure and we end up trading our treasures in Christ at the altar of counterfeit love. So I’ll talk about some of the reasons why I think we should never be unequally yoked.

First of all, the Bible is crystal clear about the issue. It is not a grey area. 2 Corinthians 6:14-15 is clear, “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? What accord has Christ with Belial? Or what portion does a believer share with an unbeliever?” We should never be found unequally yoked in obedience to God’s word.

Let me remind us of our state when we were unbelievers. We were full of sin- rebellious to God, evil, dead in transgressions and not capable of doing any good thing. As such we couldn’t love as we ought to since we didn’t know Christ, the source and example of true love. All our actions stemmed out of selfish ambition and pride. This is the state of every unbeliever. It is therefore too much to expect an unbeliever to love and treasure you in a manner that glorifies Christ!

One of the works of the Holy Spirit in us is regeneration. He constantly shapes our thoughts, desires and ambitions in life to reflect Christ and His word. In due time He will bring this work to perfection. As a result we ought to desire Godly families, which will be a hub for Godliness, love and true Christian living. We all agree that even in our wildest dreams an unbeliever can never rise up to this standard. If not for your sake then, do not be unequally yoked for the sake of your offspring. They need a place where the parents will be united towards the course of teaching, demonstrating and modelling Godliness.

We’d all know better if many of us coming from families where only one parent is a believer cared to admit and explain. That it is difficult to live with someone who does not subscribe to the faith handed down to us by the apostles as you do, agree with you according to the scriptures and share in the convictions that you so hold dear. The scriptures are the basis and rule of our faith and practice. It’s too much to expect an unbeliever to even make sober and sound decisions at the very least!

The Bible teaches that we are the salt and light of the earth. (Mathew 5:13-16). Our way of living should be a witness of Christ to the rest of the earth.  This includes the marriages we’ll have in the future. This realization should lead us to pursuing the will of God in every matter including marriage.

I don’t nullify the fact that God is able to reach out to people in families with unbelieving parents (one or both) and own them for Himself. This is also not to bash those already in these kind of marriages. Nah, I’m simply telling us that we should never agree to tie the knot with the knowledge that it is wrong.

It would also be careless of me not to remind us the words of Paul in 1 Corinthians 7:12-16, “To the rest I say (I, not the Lord) that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her.  If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.  But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace.  For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?”

What looks like the budding in the fields (which does not last by the way) could deceive our hearts and easily pleasure them. Many times we don’t even speak about it because, “Who wants people to know that I’m head over heels with an unbeliever or a lukewarm person?” I’ve been there, done that. Does it show that your walk with God is on the rocks? May be. You have every reason to flee.